She left me the gun : my mother's life before me
(Book)

"One day I will tell you the story of my life," promises Emma Brockes's mother, "and you will be amazed." Brockes grew up hearing only pieces of her mother's past--stories of a rustic childhood in South Africa, glimpses of a bohemian youth in London--and yet knew that crucial facts were still in the dark. A mystery to her friends and family, Paula was clearly a strong, self-invented woman; glamorous, no-nonsense, and frequently out of place in their quaint English village. Looking to unearth the truth after Paula's death, Brockes begins a dangerous journey into the land--and the life--her mother fled from years before. As she follows her mother's footsteps back to South Africa, Brockes begins to find the wellsprings of her mother's strength, the tremendous endurance which allowed Paula to hide terrible secrets from even her closest friends and family.--From publisher description.

Documents the author's investigation into a shattering childhood trauma in South Africa, tracing the discovery of her grandfather's abuse of her mother, which compelled her mother's unsuccessful attempt to kill him before fleeing the country.